SUV Owner? Dude you own the road...!

Every morning you jump on to the driving seat and as soon as you switch on the ignition, adrenaline rushes through your entire body. Diesel engine yeah! let the engine warm up a little before you put it in a gear. Then slowly and safely take it out from the garage. Oh, don't forget to wear your fancy sunglasses as its obligatory to look as stylish as your mean machine.

Now when you have hit the road, don't pay much attention to the two-wheelers and smaller cars. Doesn't matter even if they are driving in the correct lane. Cant they see that you own a bigger vehicle and you need a lot more space to move around? if they can't, you need to put them in the right place by speeding up, using your power horn and getting too close to them till they make way to save themselves. Once you get their attention and have made a point, do give a look! You need to live up to your inflated ego.

After negotiating the city traffic without caring about the nonsensical rule of lane driving and have hit the highway, speed up. Of course you didn't invest in the engine and horsepower to drive slow. But your misery don't end there. You come across those 'oh so slow' trucks and buses, who seem to have taken the same dose of ego tonic that your SUV manufacturer prescribed to you. It's time to give your voice drum an exercise. Shout, abuse and threaten till the driver thinks that you are a big shot and if he doesn't compromise on his 10000 salary ego then you can land him in a soup . Do show him a 'bird' once you have overtaken him. Give a damn to all those idiots who advise against road rage. They didn't spend the same money as you did. how would they understand your pain?

As you reach your destination and you are looking for a place to park your elephant size machine, make sure that you cover a space for two. Of course you need a parking as huge as your ego, only then you can open all 5 doors of your SUV comfortably. If parking attended protests, he deserves a word therapy. Do give it to him judiciously. 

Repeat the process on your way back as well and if you need to add a bit of adrenaline, source a red beacon from your local car accessory shop and do get 'President' of some irrelevant association written under your number plate.